just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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