I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Enjoy the penises
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize