I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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