i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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