We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
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