...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize