I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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