I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize