god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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