Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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