Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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