i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
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My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
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He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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