i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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