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I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
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