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Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
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