Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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