Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
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My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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