i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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