Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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