I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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