Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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