If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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