we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize