The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
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He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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