i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize