After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
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Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just puked most of my soul out..
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