I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize