I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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