Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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