So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
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I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
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I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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