You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize