he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
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Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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