I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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