I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
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"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
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He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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