You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize