wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize