Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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