who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
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I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
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I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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