Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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