I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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