Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
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Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
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She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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