cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
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i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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