I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
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But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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