i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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