weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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