Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
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Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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