Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
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I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
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There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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