I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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