birth control should be required to get into college
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
my liver is dry heaving
I pour the whiskey from now on
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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