dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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